The Queen of Everything

"Nothing like that happens to people like me, not to people like my dad, who changes the oil in his car and pays his bills on time... I mean, imagine it. Your father. Your father. I can tell you, though, it does happen. To people like me." Up until now, 17-year-old Jordan's biggest problem in life was dealing with her hippy-dippy mom, the kind of woman who "might suddenly flop out a boob" to nurse her little brother. She much preferred the company of her calm, measured father, "a Shredded Wheat and All-Bran guy," who never embarrassed her in front of her friends. That's why Jordan is stunned when her nice, divorced dad starts acting like a lovelorn teenager over one of their neighbors, Gayle D'Angelo. True, Gayle is pretty, but she's also married. Too proud to let anyone in their cloistered Pacific Northwest island community know, Jordan decides to handle the situation herself. She tries everything from directly confronting her dad, to dating local thug Kale Kramer in a misguided attempt to gain her father's attention. But nothing seems to work, and when Gayle's husband goes missing and the police name Jordan's dad as a suspect, Jordan's life rapidly spins out of control.